that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
Block me from your phone tonight…I need to get laid tonight. But you've been being a douchebag. So not by you. But I might call you. So block me.
WHY WOULD I COCK BLOCK MYSELF???
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
