Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
