Dual....:-)
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
Randomize
