That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
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I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
Adderal just makes me love life. I want to do so much. I just can't stop thinking about all the wonderful opportunities we have and how lucky we are and I want to make a difference in the world. I just have to reign in my brain and convince it that changing the world starts with a college degree, which depends on studying for these finals.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
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Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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