I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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