I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize