i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
This better be legit desert and not your penis alamode
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
Randomize
