Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
Well the good news of being walked in on, my mom says your tits are pretty. Then she added that hers were like that once. Fml
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