Where is the hickey?
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
i'm 85% sure that if you don't visit me i will do something awkward and potentially dangerous to you in your sleep involving chocolate milk and a sham-wow.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Tell me about it I woke up on your couch with only my underwear on and a 26 year old wrapped around me. I thought my thirties would be different.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
