afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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