yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
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