college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
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