i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
Randomize
