Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just wanna be some guy's midlife crisis
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
a girl walking in front of me just packed her cigarettes 72 times and yes i counted
how much adderall did you take today?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
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