YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
After the baby comes, I'll make us White Russians with my breast milk. That will teach her about sharing.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
Randomize
