That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
at first i said "no rollerblading if I'm going to be drunk," but we all know how that went
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
