i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
Randomize
