Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
yea i thought the egg drop soup tasted weirdly like cum, and then i suddenly remembered what happened last night.
i'm never eating chinese again.
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
The background of my phone is you taped to the wall wearing a cowboy hat
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
You were out of control then you fell asleep on his lap for 30 min and woke up civil. Way to powernap to sobriety!
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