Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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