So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
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