I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
Since the world is still here you can go ahead and disregard those pictures I sent
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Randomize
