You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Randomize