I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
She had just swallowed, of course i didnt kiss her goodbye
Wasn't she moving abroad?
Are you really going to debate this?
dude, i was at the student union last night trying to study but some retarded sorority spent an hour voting on the color of the seasons shirts like it was a UN meeting- someone motioned purple, someone objected, and half an hour later after 2 recounts they decided on purple
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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