Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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