i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
