I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
Randomize
