the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
I’m going down on him like an Oompah Loompah on roller skates.
That makes no sense, but good luck
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