Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Randomize
