I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
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