i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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