yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
Randomize
