i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
