Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
I hope my margaritas pass through security.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
she filled my toilet with birdseed... i tried flushing it but now it's clogged so she has to come over and fix it because it was her mistake in the first place
Randomize