you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
One of my favorite March activities is cropdusting people while wearing a kilt.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
Randomize