Can Purell be used as lube?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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