I must be too annoying 4 u.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Randomize
