If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Yeah, but I'm out of licorice and there's no way anywhere near here will rent us all mopeds on a Tuesday night.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
