Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
