A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Randomize
