News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
