i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
