two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
