It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
My body is being held together with whiskey, nicotine, duct tape and a little bit of hope...
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
Randomize
