we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
The best revenge is premature balding
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
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