how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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