I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
