Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
the day after is always just damage control
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
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