When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
We got so high we made milksteak
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
Im celebrating the fact that the one guy who has ever denied me has just come out of the closet
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Watching him is like watching a star slowly implode
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
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