dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
Panties = found
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