i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
Reggie can tackle my bush.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
my penis made a compromise with my morals
Randomize
