**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
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