How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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