it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
when i first looked at you, you weren't wearing any pants. but then i realized you had them around your neck as a cape.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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