Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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