every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
at least the cop wrote "happy birthday" on the ticket.
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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