Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
