You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If we laid all the dicks that's have been inside of us end to end it would be as tall as 4 story building. 40 feet of dicks.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
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