its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
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