dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
